The Lady of the Roses – A Poem

I took a break from The Editor’s Corner this week to bring you a poem I’m working on. It still needs some revisions, but I like the way it flows so far.


 

The Lady of the Roses

She walks among the roses fair
symphony playing through the air
muted, soft, and gentle still
this Lady with the Iron will

her passion, now, feverish delight
bothered all throughout the night
bringing him upon his knees
ignoring all his crying pleas

to stay. To stay and never wander,
the Lady shakes her head to ponder.
Why should I go? Why should I stay?
To hear you cry “won’t you come play?”

The night has passed, The Lady walks
to whispers of the wind and stalks
of grass bowing to their knees
Lady of the Roses, won’t you please?

Delight, delight, she shakes her head,
and returns into her lover’s bed
He turns a quiet gaze—her face
is peaceful with a rose’s grace

She sleeps in deepest red repose
This Lady of the Darkest Rose.


© 2017 by Anne Hogue-Boucher. Reprint with express permission from the author.

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The Editor’s Corner – Adjective Abuse

Last week I threw you a red herring to pull you off track for copy editing. But now that’s over, this week we’re back to talking about adjective use, or rather, adjective abuse.

Adjectives are fine, but too many of them can wind up being boring and repetitive. Yes, they’re useful in telling a person whether or not their soup is hot, or if it’s cold outside. But too many of them signal to an editor or publisher that the writing is weak, and that there’s more “tell” than “show.”

As you already know, you want way more show than tell. Some tell is fine, but too much makes the reader disengage.

When you’re a writer, you want engaging reading that’s creative, not a play-by-play report.

This goes hand-in-hand with the overuse of adverbs, remember.

But don’t despair! There is an easy fix for it that you can do right now.

Instead of:
Lonnie was cold.

Try:
Lonnie stepped outside and pulled her jacket around her. She shivered, mindful of the patches of ice on the pavement.

With the first one, you get it. Lonnie’s cold. In the second one, you’re walking with her, outside, pulling your jacket around you and trying to avoid the ice patches on the ground.

That’s all there is to it.

For practice, go back over one of your old drafts and find where you’re using adjectives. Rewrite the passage to show the reader what you were trying to say with your adjective.

Happy writing!


If you’d like to read some snazzy adjectives used sparingly (ooh there go those adverbs again), pick up my works. It’s great for horror and weird fiction fans. 

The Editor’s Corner – Red Herrings

Welcome to another edition of The Editor’s Corner. Let’s fish around and see what kind of devices we can reel in here: red herrings.

Okay—enough with the puns. I know you didn’t come here to laugh and/or roll your eyes at my punderful style.

What is a red herring?

A red herring, in literature, is a distraction technique that you will see mostly in thrillers, mysteries, and suspense. They catch the reader’s attention and lead them away from what’s actually going on in the novel.

Some red herrings are obvious and can be spotted by seasoned mystery readers. For example, in The Da Vinci Code, the Bishop Aringarosa is a red herring designed to lead the reader to believe that he is the criminal mastermind when he is innocent. A reader of mysteries with loads of experience might raise their eyebrow at that name. The direct translation of aringa rosa in Italian is “red herring.”

For many mystery readers, this was an eye-rolling moment. For beginners, it likely got them hooked on mysteries for a lifetime.

It’s important to have your red herrings be a little more subtle in order to have the reader stay engaged.

How?

There are a couple ways to accomplish this:

  1. Make your culprit seem like a red herring. You can do this by exposing the culprit at the beginning, but the culprit has a good distraction of his/her own that throws your protagonist off the main trail, and into a bunch of other red herrings, only to be brought back to the culprit in the end.
  2. Put in more than one red herring and make sure your culprit is obfuscated somewhat in the beginning, only to reveal he/she has been there all along.

This is not a copy editor’s pro-tip. This is from a developmental editor’s perspective. If your editor can spot your red herrings too quickly, they’ll mark up the manuscript and typically advise you to change it around.

And here you thought I was a copy editor all along.

See what I did there?

Ha ha!

But in all seriousness, if you are tackling a mystery or thriller, a few red herrings can delight your readers as they try to unravel the mystery in front of them.

We’ll go back to copy editing and then hop back to other devices in the next installments.

Until then, happy writing!


Horror fans who know Cthulhu devours red herrings as an appetizer and enjoy Lovecraftian horror with a twist can find their way to Silver Hollow

The Editor’s Corner – Dialogue Attribution

Welcome to another edition of The Editor’s Corner! I am your host, editor and writer Anne Hogue-Boucher.

Last week, I wrote about adverb usage, and as a side note, feel free to use them often in your first draft. I do. I use them as placeholders when I’m trying to get out an idea and then in my second go-around, I’ll take them out and replace them with stronger writing. I just use them as reminders of the mood I wanted to set for the passage.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s move onto tip number two.

Today’s tip is about dialogue attribution, and for many of you, this will fly in the face of what your English teacher taught you.

I will tell you now that your publisher/editor and English teacher often work at cross-purposes. Your English teacher is trying to help you expand your vocabulary and improve your ability to be more flexible with it. Your editor and publisher are trying to help you not look like a neophyte writer.

So don’t be upset if you find this contradicts what you were taught. Just remember that this is for a different arena.

Ready?

Never use anything but “said” and “asked” in your dialogue attribution. Everything else is a surefire way to mark you as an inexperienced writer.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

“There’s a monkey in that tree,” John hollered.
“Shoot it!” Matt screamed.
“Why? It’s not doing anything,” John growled.
“It’s stealing my bananas!” Matt insisted.

Why is this wrong and why does it sound like a greenhorn wrote it? A couple of reasons. This is not really showing the reader what’s going on, and it becomes a tad redundant. We want to show the reader what’s happening to draw them into the scene rather than tell them what’s going on in it. Showing brings the reader in and gets them involved. Telling makes them passive, and not invested.

It’s also redundant. Everyone is hollering, screaming, growling, and insisting. Do you get it now, reader? Are you sure everyone is in an uproar? Here the reader might roll their eyes. They get it. Stop smashing it in their faces.

So let’s clean it up and see what happens:

“There’s a monkey in that tree,” John’s voice echoed off the rocks that created a barrier from the shore.
“Shoot it!” Matt waved his hands at John. Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead.
“Why? It’s not doing anything.”
“It’s stealing my bananas!” Matt ran his hands into his hair and pulled, bending over as he fell to the ground.

If you have an exclamation point (use those sparingly, by the way), then ‘screamed’ and ‘hollered’ aren’t necessary. You also don’t always need to attribute your dialogue if it’s clear who’s doing the talking, so even ‘said’ and ‘asked’ become words you can use less.

Rather than reusing ‘said’ and ‘asked’ repeatedly, show the scene to your reader. Make your reader hear John’s voice echoing off the rocks. Make your reader hear Matt’s insistence and panic/outrage.

“Do you understand now?” I asked the reader of this blog, who may or may not be scowling at these words. “It’s not that your attribution is wrong, just that it’s less than professional. So give it another go, and see how much better you can make it.”

That’s it for this installment. Questions? Send me a message on Facebook.

Happy writing.

The Editor’s Corner – The “Deadly” Adverb

It’s been 10 months since I did my first edition of The Editor’s Corner (a bonus piece, in fact), and I think it’s high time I gave it another go with my first official tip. Considering all the writing I’ve been looking at these days, well, I think there are a few things that need to be addressed.

When I was a professional editor, I got to review people’s writing before it was published, and I wound up seeing some common errors that beginners make.

These mistakes can make it more difficult to get published.

I thought it might be fun (or at least informative) for aspiring writers out there to get some tips from not only someone who is published, but also helped (and helps) others get their manuscripts ready for publishing.

So, here’s the first tip, tongue-in-cheek named:

Use adverbs sparingly. That doesn’t mean you can’t have one or two, but most of the time, there’s a much stronger way to say and show what you mean to your reader.

Here’s an example:

Instead of: “I wouldn’t do that,” Brett said calmly.

Try: “I wouldn’t do that.” Brett leaned back in his chair, arms loose by his side.

That’s it, cut your adverbs down and try building a stronger way to say what you mean. When you can’t do that, then maybe throw in an adverb now and then. For the most part, though, publishers will zero in on your use of adverbs and it will scream to them, “new writer ahead, unprofessional, unskilled.” Klaxons will sound in their heads and they are far less likely to take a risk on publishing your work.

NaNoWriMo is coming up this November. That’s just a little less than three months away now at the time of this writing. Time to hone your skills and get ready.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to eliminate the use of adverbs all the way down to one per 1,000 words. After that, try one every 2,000 words. Do this until you have rid yourself of that pesky gadfly.


Anne Hogue-Boucher likes to rid herself of adverbs as often as possible. You can read the results in her current works, and even follow her around on Twitter and Facebook.

And the Winners Are…

Well, I randomly chose three winners for my book giveaway, but two were stuck together, so I’ve added a bonus winner!

Haunt Cadia, Arnold Terrell, Lisa Baucom Judy, and Kristy Graham each get a free, signed copy of Now Entering Silver Hollow.

Come on over to my Facebook page to find out how to claim your prize. Congratulations!

I’ll be going on hiatus for awhile here on my blog, but I’ll be back with more on The Psych Writer and writing tips when I return.

The Giveaway, Part II

Last week, I posted that I will be giving away three signed copies of my book to three lucky readers in the US, Canada, or UK (Scotland, Ireland, and England for those of you geographically challenged).

This is the last chance to make your entries—so visit the last post here to find out what you need to do in order to enter. I’ll announce the chosen three next week!

Psst … Up for a Giveaway?

Okay, so I’ve been teasing people on my Facebook page about a chance to receive a free signed copy of Now Entering Silver Hollow.

But I wanted to think about how to go about this giveaway for readers, and I finally decided how to go about it. I didn’t want to make it boring or just some random thing. I like challenges. Since I’m a fan of RPG and quests, I will send you on a mission, should you very dare to accept it.

So, today, I ask that if you want to be one of the three (yes, three) lucky people* who gets a signed copy of my book, you complete these three simple tasks:

  1. Invite people to like my Facebook page.
  2. Comment on the Facebook posts that I put up promoting this blog entry that you’ve completed the first task. These posts will be put up Thursday, May 18th through Sunday, May 21st. If you comment on more than one post, tell me if you’ve invited more people each time.
  3. Add to the comment what you love about horror and weird fiction. 

That’s all there is to it! I will run this giveaway this week and then next week, I will announce the winners right here on my blog. All entries will be assigned a number, and then they will be chosen at random with a random number generator powered by random.org.

*The giveaway is limited to the US, Canada, and the UK (Scotland, England, Ireland, & Wales).

The Psych Writer on Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Gilderoy Lockhart. Zaphod Beeblebrox. Scarlett O’Hara. What do these three characters have in common?

Well, if you read the title, then you could guess they’re all different portrayals of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Even though I enjoyed reading those books, and find many parts of their characterizations to be spot-on accurate, your job as a writer is not to copy those characters. You need to make your own. Make them human. Because a person has a PD does not make them any less human, but they are extremes of the human condition.

The Psych Writer is here to help you with this. Remember, this is not a substitute for therapeutic advice. If you somehow manage to see yourself in these symptoms and it also somehow bothers you (or, you know, if your loved ones are ready to throw you out of the house because you have these signs and symptoms), then seek the advice of a professional health care provider.

Without further ado, here is the lowdown on NPD.

NPD is part of the Cluster B personality disorders. They used to be in the Axis II, but the DSM no longer uses that multiaxial diagnosis (much to their detriment, if I’m to be blunt). Cluster B is the cluster of dramatic, emotional, and erratic personality disorders. That means it’s in the same group as Borderline, Histrionic, and Antisocial personality disorders. (There are ten total, in three clusters.)

People who fit into Cluster B have difficulties with impulse control and regulating their emotions. Ever seen someone in line at the store who is just outrageously angry because the cashier won’t honor a coupon, and they start threatening to sue the store and the cashier personally, calling the employee every name in the book and demanding to speak to the president of the company? Yeah, like that. That’s a problem with regulating one’s emotions.

In order to receive a diagnosis of NPD, the person must have an enduring and persistent pattern of grandiose behavior and feelings, a continuous desire for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

NPD begins in early adulthood and is often lifelong (especially if untreated), and can be observed in a variety of contexts (home, work, school, social gatherings, public areas).

The disorder is only diagnosed if the person exhibits five or more of the following signs/symptoms (again, some have all nine, but this isn’t seen often):

  1. Has an exaggerated sense of self-importance that’s grandiose. In other words, they expect you to recognize them as your superior without proportionate credentials or achievements.
  2. They are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. (In some cases, they are so preoccupied with the fantasy that they don’t do the work to make those dreams a reality, such as putting in work for promotions or completing their coursework.
  3. They believe they are special and unique to the point where they can only be understood and appreciated by high-status people or institutions, or they may also believe that they should only associate with the above-mentioned.
  4. They require excessive admiration. (If they aren’t constantly complimented and admired, they often become depressed or use manipulative tactics to gather attention.)
  5. They have an enormous sense of entitlement, unreasonably expecting favorable treatment, or having their expectations met without resistance or delay. Think about the coupon explanation above as an example.
  6. They are interpersonally exploitative. That means they’ll take advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
  7. They lack empathy. They refuse to identify or recognize other people’s feelings or needs.
  8. Envy issues: they think people are envious of them, and/or are often envious of others.
  9. They display  and possess attitudes of arrogance and haughtiness.

Behavioral characteristics include what’s known as “narcissistic rages,” which are hellish for the people who have to endure them. Some threaten suicide, some threaten homicide. Some come close to going through with it, and some complete it. Mostly, though, these rages are part of the loss of emotional regulation and sometimes impulse control. Occasionally, they are done to manipulate the other person into the behavior that the person with NPD wants from them.

Are they like this all the time? Yes. The majority of the time they are like this. That’s what pervasive and consistent mean. Don’t forget that when you’re writing the character!

When you do write a character with NPD, remember, you don’t have to hit all of these points. Not everyone is a textbook case and not everyone has every single symptom (in fact, they rarely do have all of them). Infuse your characters with what makes them uniquely human.

Happy writing.


Anne Hogue-Boucher won’t go into a narcissistic rage if you don’t follow her on Twitter or Facebook, but why risk it? You can also buy her books, and that will enable her to eat a sandwich.

» 9 Famous Authors Who Didn’t Get Published Until Their Fifties (Or Older)

I actually do hear a lot of people complain that they’re too old to begin a writing career. But the fact of the matter is, you’re never too old to do anything career wise unless you’re dead or have developed a form of amnestic disorder/dementia.

Considering I’ve read about and met people in their 50s and 60s going to medical school, sitting down to write every day isn’t a challenge by comparison.

So don’t get discouraged. You have a chance to write and get published. Now, you can even choose to go indie and publish on your own with a platform like Pronoun. There’s really no excuse for not sitting down in front of the keyboard.

Even if you have arthritis, you can use a speech-to-text program to aid you in your endeavors.

Below are nine examples of authors who weren’t published till they hit the big 5-0 or later. Write a lot, improve your craft, and don’t give up.

Source: » 9 Famous Authors Who Didn’t Get Published Until Their Fifties (Or Older)

I’ll be back with The Psych Writer soon, going back to tackling personality disorders and how to write them well.